Quotes Free for All

[opelnut10]

Originally Posted by k1400 Sun shines on a dog's ass some days. One of my all time favorites, no idea who said it. Think I got it from a movie.

that's the redneck version of the law of karma, it goes like this: The sun don't shine on the same dogs ass all the time, sooner or later the sun or the dog will move and it will be my turn.

[nbrcrnchr]

While learning to fly my instructor said

Take-offs are optional

Landings are mandatory.

And my personal favorite

If you think that the propeller is propulsion and not for cooling, think again. If it ever quits turning, watch your pilot break out in a sweat.

[Mistaya]

My signature on another form....

I've been an Indian all my life, I only recently became Native American.

[Mistaya]

"If worse comes to worse, we're screwed"

Christopher Titus



"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.”

Albet Einstein


"We are part of the earth and the earth is part of us."
Chief Seattle

[Thom71GT]

Beer is proof there is a God and he loves us - Ben Franklin

Go to Hell - Fred Sanford

Be alert, America needs more lerts - unknown

Illiterate? Write for free help.

[Motor Mouth]

When I was a kid and before we went out anywhere my mum would always say to dad, 'Fred are you ready?'

He'd always reply, 'Yes, mustard, custard, wallet and watch'.......never knew what the heck dad was going on about but it got a laugh.


A couple of months back I got chatting to this guy and he came out with a load of quotes, most of which I can't remember, but the one I can was.......... God forgives you,......I DON'T! I hope I never have to use it.

[namba209]

Cruise Ships Take Airport Exit

A road sign heading north into San Diego on I-5

[Gordy]

my thoughts on exercise and why I avoid it...."No pain, no pain"

[DESTEC]

"I'll never forget WhatsHerName."

[greenopelgt]

"Let the bull calf suck" Most of you city folks will struggle with this one.

Tom Adkins
1969 Opel GT
1.1 Liter

[nlpnt]

When someone asks you if you're ticklish, whether you say yes or no, someone is going to touch you. So instead of saying yes or no, you should say something like "I have diarrhea, and yes, I'm ticklish."

-Demetri Martin

[soybean]

This one is a little long. I learned it in High School and it has stayed with me since then, and yes it is in Caps. It was delivered at the Sorbonne. Paris, France April 23, 1910 by Theodore Roosevelt. There are variations in some of the wording of this part of his speech. Jarrell

The Man in the Arena
IT IS NOT THE CRITIC WHO COUNTS, NOT THE ONE WHO POINTS OUT HOW THE STRONG MAN STUMBLED, OR HOW THE DOER OF DEEDS MIGHT HAVE DONE THEM BETTER.THE CREDIT BELONGS TO THE MAN WHO IS ACTUALLY IN THE ARENA, WHOSE FACE IS MARRED WITH SWEAT, DUST AND BLOOD, WHO STRIVES VALIANTLY; WHO ERRS AND COMES UP SHORT AGAIN AND AGAIN; WHO KNOWS THE GREAT ENTHUSIAMS, THE GREAT DEVOTIONS, AND SPENDS HIMSELF IN A WORTHY CAUSE. WHO, IF HE FAILS, AT LEAST FAILS WHILE DARING GREATLY, SO THAT HIS PLACE SHALL NEVER BE WITH THOSE COLD AND TIMID SOULS WHO KNOW NEITHER VICTORY NOR DEFEAT.

[neuropel]

Part of that quote is in the movie "The World's Fastest Indian" mentioned in another thread here - only other time I'd heard it.

[manyopels]

" A man can never have too much red wine , too many books , or too much ammunition" Rudyard Kipling

[manyopels]

"A pig is a jolly companion,
be it boar, sow, barrow or gilt.
A pig is a pal,
who'll boost your morale,
though the mountains may topple and tilt.
When they've blackballed, bamboozled and burned you,
when they've turned on your Tory and Whig,
though you may be thrown over
by Tabby or Rover,
you'll never go wrong with a pig, a pig,
you'll never go wrong with a pig"

- Thomas Pynchon "Gravity's Rainbow"
(learned 30 years ago and recited from memory today)

[manyopels]

"It never does seem to matter if there's danger,
'cuz Danger's a roof I fell from long ago!
One day I'll be gone, and never come back,
forget the bitter you owe me, Jack.
Just piss on'me grave,
and carry on the show!"

- Thomas Pynchon "Gravity's Rainbow"

(once again, recited from memory learned three decades past)

[sugg578]

A wise man once told me I dont know ask a girl.

[bullmoose]

Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it. -Unknown

[bullmoose]

.... Now for one liners from one of the best movies in history, Blazing Saddles. Comparable only to Monty Python and the Holy Grail..

"Mongo only pawn in game of life." - Mongo (Alex Karras)

"Oh Lord! Do we have the strength to carry on this mighty task in one night? Or are we just jerking off?" (The people respond, "Amen.") - Reverend Johnson (Liam Dunn)

"You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the New West. You know - morons" - The Waco Kid aka Gene Wilder, Blazing Saddles ca. 1974

...and on and on and on and on..... should have it's own Thread

[Big Al]

Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?

[pecje]

In case of a nuclear invasion:

Put hands over ears, bow head between legs and kiss your ass goodbye.

(seen on T-shirt of a fellow student - mid 80's)

[opelnut10]

If you want to get even with someone, get in their pocket they will remember that longer than anything else. I.B. Kline

[jordan1call]

opel
o omitt other cars
p prottect your money
e equal to gold
l like no other

thats me
Jordan1call

[Oldbugss]

"Jazz isn't dead it just smells funny"

Frank Zappa

[dwragon]

Famous last words,

"Today you will see something you will never see again."

Dale Earnhardt