R I P Patricia

[BDD]

Jim:

I am very sorry to read of what has happened. You and Patricia are in my thoughts and I hope all the best for you. I also think that there really is reason to believe that she is in a better place.

Brett

[opeldean]

Even though you are miles away,I can imagine the pain you must feel.Thank you for all that you do and sharing with us.

[wrangler]

As has been said before, I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I am sure you have many happy and fond memories to help comfort you through this hard time.
Brett

[ddoyle]

Jim, sorry for your loss, a truly heavy burden to bear. hope we have helped to ease it just a little..

Dan

[broszzy]

My condolences on your loss Jim

Peace be with you

Pat Brosnan

[GTJIM]

Many thanks for your condolences and prayers - we felt your presence at Patricia's Service.
Here are some of the comments I made and her Eulogy plus the Service sheet.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I said at her funeral during the Welcome: "We gather here to celebrate the life of My brave friend - My Love - My Best Lady!"

"In 2005 the tumor in Patricia's lower bowel was found early and removed by surgery - they removed the tail end of her bowel, replacing it with a Stoma. Not as bad as it sounds - Trish and I had the surgeon rolling on his office floor with laughter when she requested him to keep her bottom, freeze dry/vacuum pack it and give it to her so she could keep it in her handbag ... and whip it out to say "Kiss my arse!" to obnoxious people :-)).
He did not do that, of course, but was even more amused when making sure we understood what the operation involved because Patricia said; "But I will still have an A-hole -- Jim!" .... indicating me .... Guess if you don't laugh at this quite horrible disease one has to cry. I don't think he had ever had a patient who made him laugh quite so much when imparting such serious information.

The in 2007 second bout,of the big "C" was completely unrelated to that earlier cancer and located around her esophagus. It was much more aggressive and responded to neither radiation nor chemo- therapy. Patricia remarked to me a week before she passed away that: "At least she would beat the nasty bastard in the end ... as it could not live without her!" Her impish, dark, sense of humour never failed her - right to the end."

The Eulogy was presented by the officiating Celebrant, Yvonne Prebble who co-operated with me to write down Patricia's Life.

Here it is:

Patricia Veronica MOBBS (nee PHILLIPS)

PATRICIA was born in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan in Canada on the 28th September, 1943 and died in her home at 24B Locarno Street, Opawa, Christchurch in New Zealand on the 25th August, 2008 aged 64.

Patricia's father, Kenneth Anderson PHILLIPS, was an Englishman - training in Canada with the RAF where he met and married her mother, Katherine Veronica STEFFANIC - She was an only child and her parents pre-deceased her.

When very young Patricia traveled with her parents back to England via the Atlantic convoys - dodging the marauding German U-boats as WWII was still in progress. After the War the family lived in several countries as her father became a geologist with the British Foreign Service. She spent her formative years in Northern Rhodesia where she was taught English and educated ... by German Nuns as there was no other school available. Holidays were spent in England with her cousins. Later the family moved to Fiji and then New Zealand.

On leaving school Patricia trained as a shorthand typist, becoming very proficient at that occupation bourne out by the fact that her services were frequently in demand - working in New Zealand for the Red Cross, the Fire Service, the Police CID, the Christchurch Press and the Canterbury District Health Board.

She met and married Captain Anthony Keith MOBBS on May 25th, 1966 but that relationship was dissolved in 1983.

Soon after, at a friend's wedding, she met James Douglas HENRY who was to become her soulmate for the next 25 years. They did not marry as Patrica was of the opinion that as long as Jim stayed - he must want to be with her. It proved to be true!

Patricia was a keen amateur ornithologist, an interest she shared with Jim. She enjoyed the company of her peers from all walks of life, however it was her Siamese cats which were her passion. She gave them the most extraordinary names such as Beaumont Adams; Fergus MadPurr; Miss Lotus; Scotty Marvelous and Lord Timothy. If those were the names she gave her cats - I wonder what she privately called here dear friends?

Patricia was very proud of her achievement in walking the Milford track in 1983 - and had a certificate to prove it, although she was a bit miffed at have her name printed as 'Pat' rather than Patricia!

She loved nature and was a great gardener. Her garden contains many species which she gathered up over time and planted them in what she described as the 'natural jungle system'. It is a haven for all bird life with a lady Bellbird frequently visiting the honey jar she and Jim keep full throughout the Winter months. The BellBird left when Patricia went to hospital ... and re-appeared the day she returned home for the final week of her life. The Bellbird's visits and beautiful song were very much appreciated by Patricia as she could sit and watch the BellBird feeding just outside her window. Patricia also welcomed the Godwits home to the Estuary each year and waved them off as they left again for Alaska - she has asked that her ashes be scattered at the Godwits' feeding ground ... so that she may be able to 'hitch a ride' with them on their journeys!

She had an impressive collection of records, tapes and CDs - her appreciation being truly eclectic. Tracks from one of her favorite CDs - "Forty Licks" by the Rolling Stones - were played as you all assembled here this afternoon.

When Jim was asked to describe Patricia he stated that although she enjoyed people she was essentially a very private person. She was a very elegant Lady with high standards and solid values. She was also courageous and bore her illness with dignity and forbearance.

Knowing her illness was terminal she made a 'Living Will' in which she clearly stated:
"Death is as much a reality as birth, growth, maturity and old age. I do not fear death. I do, however, fear the indignity of deterioration, dependence and hopeless pain that may precede death. If the situation should arise when I am no longer able to look after myself it is my desire and request that I remain in my own dwelling and that I be looked after by carers. If the situation should arise in which there is no reasonable expectation of my recovery from extreme physical or mental disability I request that I be allowed to die; do NOT resuscitate. I also ask that drugs be mercifully administered to me to alleviate suffering, even though this may shorten my remaining life.
This statement is made after careful consideration on my part and it is in accordance with my strong convictions and beliefs.
I want the instructions and wishes herein expressed carried out to the extent permitted by Law.
I realise that it places a heavy burden of responsibility upon you and it is with the intention of sharing that responsibility and of mitigating any feeling of guilt that this statement is made." 14th April, 2005 P V Mobbs

She was endeavoring to make her passing as easy as possible for Jim who was able to care for her in the last weeks of her life and hold her hand as she passed peacefully away in her own bed with her much loved cats, Beaumont and Fergus, beside her.

A courageous, loving, thoughtful and caring Lady.

May she rest in Peace.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

There we are, - it is my priviledge to share it with you all.

Lots of Love,
Jim & The Boys

[BQS4]

Amen, Jim.........

[saxybiker]

Beautiful tribute!

[Killer Texas GT]

Thank you Jim, for sharing, what a beautiful lady, may God bless you

Rodney and Tyressa

[tekenaar]

As Vickie said, "Beautiful tribute!" . . . and I would add, " . . . to a very feisty lady who lived life on her terms."

It brought back memories of my mom's "celebration of life" gathering after her passing two years ago. Though the pains of loss do lessen over time, the memories grow stronger day by day . . . and this is my heartfelt wish for you, Jim.

[Gary]

Truly beautiful Jim. Thanks for sharing.

[ungermm]

My eyes are tearing up. Although I have never met her, I'm sure I would have liked her. A courageous and graceful lady who has written in her living will words that have really hit home.
Many thanks, Jerry

[hallgeir]

Brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing this with us, Jim.

[namba209]

Jim, it's taken me a while to respond to this. I too had a lump in my throat and tears, also. I was reminded of the time I had to say a few words at my cousin's memorial service. It was hard to imagine what to say, but then the words flowed easily as I recapped what she meant to my family during a time of tribulation, when she stayed with us. If these two dear ladies meet up in Heaven, it should be qute an event. Thank you, so much for sharing a bit of what you two had together.

[kwilford]

I am sorry to be late in posting, but we were away at the cottage when Patricia passed on. My deepest condolences Jim. There is nothing as difficult in our lives as losing someone we love, especially so early in their life.

Coincidentally, we had stayed the night in Moose Jaw Saskatchewan, Patricia's birth place, on the way home to Calgary, and left the morning of August 25.

[jlthunder]

Beautiful, just beautiful. Thank you for sharing

[OriginalOpelGTOwner]

Jim, Thank you for sharing your loving and fond memories of Patricia with us. She certainly made the right decision in having you as her life partner and I am sure she is very proud of you for staying by her side. I know you miss her very much.

[N61WP]

After reading all that, I feel I knew her too. I'm teared up, but I'm really glad you shared that with us. God Bless.
James

[Johnvan]

I am very sorry for your loss. You wrote a eulogy which showed a very special and deeply loving Patricia. I can feel your pain as my wife of 18 years passed away of breast cancer at the age of 40 after surgeries and chemo. She left behind three daughters which included at the time 10 year old twins and a 11 year old. The loss can feel overwhelming but it does get better. We were given the gift of a very special person and have known true love. We were touched by an angel. Wishing you the best. John

[Motor Mouth]

Jim......may i pass on my deepest condolences at the passing of Patricia and thank you for sharing the words of her Eulogy.

[2 Fast 4 U]

Jim, thank you for sharing this. These are words that let us know how humble and small we are.

Again, thank you, Erick Janssen & Mary Janssen - van Heel