Forum: Humor

Could be adapted to Opel CIH. :confused: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXW0bx_Ooq4&feature=player_embedded :cool:

I saw this guy in an Italian restaurant ordering pizza in fluent Italian. The waiter seemed to appreciate his willingness to accept their culture. So, I tried the same thing in our local Chinese restaurant. I squinted my eyes and shouted, "Harro! Spesha frah raice prease!" But instead of showing...

I overheard a Yank boasting about how everything is so much bigger in the States, so I proceeded to point out a lovely country mansion with beautiful grounds and asked his opinion on it. "Man, we've got places like that all over the states and each one of them is at least 10 times bigger than...

It's a nice sunny day when a novice nun asks one of the older nuns if she'd like to go for a walk in a nearby park. As they approach the far end of the park, a man suddenly jumps out from behind some bushes, grabs both of them and "has his way" with them. The nuns finally recover enough to...

While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer cooler. One nun said to the other, "Wouldn't a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?" The second nun answered "Indeed it would Sister, but I wouldn't feel comfortable buying beer as I am certain...

http://toyotasimulator.com/ :veryhappy

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: " Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty .. You're crazy to go to Rome .. So, how are you getting there?" ...

Confucius say, "If you are in a book store and cannot find the book for which you search, you are obviously in the..... http://tekenaar.opelgt.com/Misc/comics/wongbooks.jpg

Late one night in Washington D.C. a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," the thief demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this, I'm a United States Congressman!" The robber responded,...

Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a vodka and cranberry along with a quiet conversation with Jesus. This happened to me just last week, after a particularly difficult day. I said, "Jesus, why do I work so hard?" And I heard the...

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, 'What in the world are you doing?' The daughter replied, 'Mom, I'm thirty-five...

FROM MILITARY MANUALS 'If the enemy is in range, so are you.' - Infantry Journal- ________________________________________ 'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.' - US.Air Force Manual - ________________________________________ 'Whoever said the...

New Nail Gun, made by DeWALT. It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2 X 4 at 200 yards. This makes construction a breeze, You can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence. Just get your wife to hold the fence boards in place while you sit back,...

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet and have a dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before,...

A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles per year. Another study found Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a year. That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon. Kind of makes you proud to be an American.

It's in the genes... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkOMJakRn44

I'm on a roll 27801 To write with a broken pencil is pointless. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whisky, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks...

One evening after attending the theater, two gentlemen were walking down the avenue. They observed a rather well dressed and attractive lady walking just ahead of them. One of the men turned and remarked to the other, “I’d give $100 to spend the night with that woman.” To their surprise, the...

An Irishman , a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, 'Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building.' The...