And they ask why i like retirement . . .

[sawdust]

Question:How many days in a week?
Answer:6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question:When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer:Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question:How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer:Only one, but it might take all day.

Question:What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer:There's not enough time to get everything done.

Question:Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer:The term comes with a 10% discount.

Question:Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer:Tied shoes.

Question:Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer:They're the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer:NUTS!

Question:Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer:They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question:What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer:Normal . . .

Question:What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer:The never ending Coffee Break.

Question:What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer:If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question:Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer:He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

And, my very favorite....

QUESTION:What do you do all week?
Answer:Monday through Friday, NOTHING...

Saturday & Sunday, I rest.