Top Ten Classic Country & Western Songs

[tekenaar]

10. I Hate Every Bone in Her Body but Mine

9. I Ain't Never Gone to Bed With an Ugly Woman but I Woke Up With a Few

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'

6. I Wouldn't Take Her to a Dogfight Even if I Thought She Could Win

5. I'm so Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here

4. My Wife Ran Off with My Best Friend and I Miss Him

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

2. She Gets Better Lookin' with Every Beer


And the Number One Classic Country & Western song is...


1. It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chewed My Ass All Day

[tomking]

HHhhhmmmmm? Otto has had a fight with his girlfriend!

[opelnut10]

Originally Posted by tekenaar 10. I Hate Every Bone in Her Body but Mine 9. I Ain't Never Gone to Bed With an Ugly Woman but I Woke Up With a Few 8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me 7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin' 6. I Wouldn't Take Her to a Dogfight Even if I Thought She Could Win 5. I'm so Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here 4. My Wife Ran Off with My Best Friend and I Miss Him 3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger 2. She Gets Better Lookin' with Every Beer And the Number One Classic Country & Western song is... 1. It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chewed My Ass All Day

And if you play these songs backwards, you sober up, your dog comes home, your pickup truck gets fixed, your best friend comes back out of the coma and you learn the real meaning of life. The follow up to the #1 after you make up is "I used to kiss her on the lips but its all over now"

[jackcartwright]

How about my favorite:

"If I had killed her sooner, I'd be out of jail by now."