famous quotes on 'Beer'

[sawdust]

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

Babe Ruth
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

Lyndon B. Johnson
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

Paul Horning
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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

H. L. Mencken
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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

George Bernard Shaw
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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Benjamin Franklin
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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry
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BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!

W. C. Fields
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Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.

Professor Irwin Corey
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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group Salvation in a can!

Leo Durocher
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One night at Cheers, Cliff Calvin explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm:
"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

[Sparky73]

That last one was awesome.

[opelnut10]

Every fisherman knows that in order to catch fish, you gotta hold your mouth right, in order to hold your mouth right your lips can not be parched, running cold beer across your lips keeps them from getting parched thereby making you a better fisherman. I know that sound far out but the more beer I drink the more sense it makes.

[baronbors]

There was this man who went deaf so he went to the doctor. The doctor wrote a note to him in the office that his excessive beer drinking was the cause of his deafness and if he wanted his hearing back, he would have to stop drinking beer. Several months later the doctor saw the man coming out of the local bar, stoped him and discovered he was still deaf. He wrote the man a note asking why he didn't stop drinking beer when it was causing his deafness. The man wrote back on a note saying, " I didn't want to hear what you said about drinkng beer so I kept on drinking. A joke told by Lyndon B. Johnson.

[jlthunder]

Beer, now there's a temporary solution

Homer Simpson

[Sparky73]

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
-Catherine Zandonella

To alchohol, the cause of and solution to, all life's problems.
-Homer Simpson

[jlthunder]

One more from Homer Simpson

“Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.”

[Rionart]

"People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot."
-Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

"Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
-Winston Churchill

"Make sure that the beer - four pints a week - goes to the troops under fire before any of the parties in the rear get a drop."
-Winston Churchill to his Secretary of War, 1944

Rather apt I think to be quoting on one of my favourite subjects as I hit the giddy heights of 1000 posts!...I'll have a beer tonight to mark the occasion!!

[deanh74_2]

I was drinking at a party one night and the couple who were throuing the party had a little kid. They had some Dr. Susse books lying around in the living room. I was well buzzed and started to read the book. The scary thing was it started making sence at that point. Dr. Susse had to be drunk to wright that stuff.

Dean

[ungermm]

If you want to put a big grin on your Opel share a few cases of beer with it.

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