As I was driving to work yesterday, the news announcer on a local radio station happened to mention that the German car magazine "Men's Car" just did a survey of thousands of drivers, hoping to discover the marque that claimed the most steadfast and loyal spouses. Gentlemen, HERE YOU HAVE IT: the next time your wife gets after you for the never ending tinkering, being covered in grease, tools all over the place, etc, the announcer said the survey found that Porsche drivers were the most disloyal, cheating, unstable scoundrels of all car owners, with approximately 50% of them admitting to being non-trustworthy infidels. Other marques faired better, as one would imagine, but of all drivers, Opel owners were the ABSOLUTE BEST husbands, tried and true, faithful, devoted, pillars of goodness.
I did check on the announcer's story, and found it to be true. I found some specifics at www.motoring.co.za. On the website, go to "wheel briefs", there is a short summary of the article among the storys listed.
Now, it gets really interesting. The publication did another survey, which I found at msnbc.com, and of the 2,253 motorists surveyed, the PORSCHE drivers were the least active in the, a, well, know what I mean, nudge-nudge, hint-hint, say no more, department ..... trailing behind Japanese, and even KOREAN car owners. Maybe Hyundai could incorporate that into next year's advertizing campaign... you know, how about "You GET More in a Hyundai, yeah, even more then in a PORSCHE". Then Austin Powers steps in and says YEEAAAHH BABEYYY !!!!
I'll have to leave it to the rest of the group to figure out if there is any connection between long-term dedicated relationships, and Opel ownership. Is my wife of 18 yrs really secretly in love with my GT, and not me? Or is the challenge of keeping the Opel running year after year, figuring out a way to make it work somehow, just a character trait that influences our life habits? Personally, I think we're all pathetic idiots, and our wives just feel sorry for us. Or, more likely, its something like, what OTHER woman would WANT somebody who drives an Opel, so it's Opel ownership itself that wilingly or unwillingly precludes us to monkhood. There has got to be some reason for this !
The news announcer ended the piece with this "The people who had the longest and best marriages were the owners of OPELS, according to the survey. So if you want a long and faithful marriage ladies, I guess you'll have to find someone who owns an OPEL". When I heard this at 7:45 AM coming out of my radio, I nearly crashed into the guy in front of me in the Porsche (with the gold chains, Just-For-Men fake blond hair, and disco shirt).
When word gets out on this, gents, we'll all be so much in demand, getting out of your Opel will be like being a Beatle in '65 trying to get from the limo to the back door of the stage. "Ooooh, he drives an Ooooopel" !!!
We'll be fighting them off with sticks.